We all run into situations that knock the life out of us. Things we get so emotionally involved with, that we don’t realize we have all the tools we need to take back our power. Over the years, I’ve had my share of intense situations, and lately, I’ve received one hit after another. Patience, meditation and analyzation have been my key tools to taking my power back. Speaking my mind has helped me take my power back.
When I was a kid, I was smart and loud. I was constantly told to lower my voice. I felt it stifled me, and as a result I suffered with constant swollen glands a Strep Throat. In the last few years, as I’m creeping deeper into my 40’s, I’ve learned to quickly drop what no longer serves me, in any manner necessary to get that energy out of my personal space.
Two years ago I began a Spiritual Purge. My life was becoming toxic with stress. I couldn’t function, and didn’t want to leave the house. I began meditating and was given the message to begin a Spiritual Purge. This is not an easy process, as you are hit with lifetimes of Karma all at once. I had already survived a nasty divorce and prior to that a sexual assault, so I thought, this won’t be too bad. I was wrong. I was sick for 2 years, and was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). You could see my sickness in my skin, and I had little to no energy. Once that battle was managed, the real attacks came in. I was fired from a job, after I’d already resigned. I was slandered, almost sued, but I proved my case with the truth. There are other battles going on behind the scenes, and I want to stop and hide, but that’s not helpful. I keep going, because I have to keep going. You can fix your life, if you face it.
Here are my Tools for Coping:
Get Angry. Release, Yell, Scream, Fight, get the emotion out as fiercely and quickly as possible. Hold nothing back. When you feel completely purged, pull yourself together and use your mind.
Educate yourself. Learn all you can about the situation you are in, so you can find ways to help yourself. Don’t listen to anything other than your own mind, and if you run into a wall, ask someone you can trust to be impartial to help you figure out the next step.
Make Lists. Pros and Cons of the choices you have in front of you and detail every situation you think can happen. Then rule out the impossible scenarios and work with logic.
Meditate on the situation and listen to the information that come to you. Write it down. If it’s a message you don’t fully understand yet, keep an eye out for signs that will help lead you in the right direction.
Take Care of You. Don’t forget to eat well, drink enough water and try to get rest. I tend to not eat or sleep and run on pure adrenaline when something affects me negatively.
Fight Fire With Water. That’s right, fighting fire with fire never works, you must strategize and fight fire with water, in order to extinguish the negativity from your life.
Keep Doing Good. At my lowest points, during meditation, the only message I received was “Keep Doing Good”, so I did. Negativity creates anger and chaos, and it is a vicious cycle that is difficult to get out of. Go out and do something good after a traumatic event. It is very healing for the Spirit.
Dress to Impress. Make sure you feel confident, especially on the darkest days.
Maintain a lighthearted attitude. Count your blessings and show your gratefulness to those blessings for helping bring you out of the darkness.
Music. Whether you play an instrument, sing or just listen, use music as a tool to restore the mind, body & spirit.
I fell in love with Brandless even before I made a purchase. I react to vibes, in person or through the interweb, and I immediately connected with Brandless and their No Bull Product Line.
My first order was conservative, only because I had to stop myself from purchasing every item in stock. So I chose essentials, peanut butter, almond butter, peanut powder, pasta, cookies, popcorn and pretzels. Everything is top quality. Everything is delishhhhhh…..
Almond Butter – great flavor, smooth, not gritty, comes in a cute squeezable pouch.
Peanut Butter – tastes like actual peanuts, and it blends smoothly.
Agave Nectar – a little goes a long way, perfectly sweet and we’re already out.
Grade A Maple Syrup – it was a pancake party, and the Maple Syrup was the guest of honor.
Organic Peanut Butter Powder – tastes like real peanuts! Perfect with banana and chocolate protein powder. Now to find some other fun uses for the PB Powder.
Everything Pretzel Thins – alone or with hummus, these are addicting.
Organic Crushed Pepper & Truffle Oil Popcorn – the pepper was perfect, but I would have liked a little more truffle flavor.
Organic Herbal Tea Sampler – I love tea, and these teas are high quality and full of flavor. The Chamomile is my favorite, but the Pomegranate White Tea is surprisingly good. Most berry teas are tart, but these all have a smooth flavor.
Double Chocolate Cookie Thins – AMAAAAAZING Crunch! and I must try all the other flavors soon.
Chocolate Creme Cookies – I’m almost afraid to tell you how good these were, for fear of them selling out, but they are incredible. Only 9 grams of sugar and to me, it’s better than it’s sugary counterpart. This is my perfect cookie.
Organic Lumaconi Giant Pasta – already gone. t
Two meals with a meat sauce and here in a much lighter dish with artichoke, mushroom and asparagus, in garlic & oil.
Lemon Basil Scones – I haven’t baked these yet, mostly because I don’t have a scone baking pan, and I cannot bake. So as soon as I have someone make these, I’ll tell you how great the were.
Green Tea & Aloe Body Wash – I love this body wash, it lathers well, smells fresh, and gives the skin a little tingle. Perfect for your morning shower.
Lemon Verbena Surface Cleaning Wipes – I like these as much as I like using Meyer’s Brand organic cleaning products. One wipe goes a long way.
I’m so excited that I’ve run out of ketchup, mayo, honey and agave, rice, and quinoa. Brandless saves money, and time. The only way to make Brandless even more awesome, is one day shipping…….
After just one order, I’ve decided I’m switching to Brandless for most of my household items. Brandless is a great brand name.
These principles are also applied in adult classes, the result being a challenging class where you feel safe and in control, yet fun and lighthearted.
Physical Benefits of Aerial Yoga are:
Increased core strength and stability (balance) within the body.
Spinal decompression and gentle tension release due to counteracting gravity.
Increased upper body strength.
HIIT – High Intensity Interval Workout.
Increased bone density.
Gentle yet effective workout that is easy on the joints.
Increased body awareness.
The Metaphysical Benefits are:
Be Here Now, being present in the moment.
Control, mental, spiritual & physical.
Increased Self Confidence.
Increased sense of community.
A heartfelt thank you to everyone who has made Gypsy Tribe Westchester a success.
Join us every Thursday Evening for Swing & Sip with Heather Donovan, (center photo). More classes with Roseanne Carlo Stone – Founder of Gypsy Tribe Westchester (right) and Elin Waterston (left) – Founder of Luna Aerial Teacher Training.
Reality is not an illusion, but the illusion of reality is real. What do I mean by this? What we surround ourselves with, becomes our reality. Reality and truth, in turn, can only be truly judged, when not only our 5 senses are active, but more importantly, our sixth sense. The Truth can only be gauged by how many senses become awakened when presented with a specific situation.
Our 5 Senses:
Our 6th Sense: Intuition
If you only rely on television and limited resources for your information you are only using two senses, sight and sound; that’s not much of an experience. You need to delve further into the situation to use as many senses as possible to get a better hold on information. Only then can you truly judge the situation. Everything is hearsay until you can fully experience with all five, and for some of us, all six senses. Look hard for the truth, it’s often hidden under a pack of lies.
Choosing your Path
How do you know which path to choose? Often times we don’t know, we just blindly go forward trusting nothing and everything and taking things as they come, good or bad. Sometimes we feel the right path, through our intuition, and still, situations may be difficult. Sometimes our intuition is correct, and the choices we made have clearly resolved the situation for the better. These are subconscious choices, choices we often have no control over.
Why it is necessary sometimes. That sounds ridiculous, but as I’ve often said, you can’t turn the other cheek, because the other cheek gets slapped, and you can’t fight fire with fire, it just creates more chaos. You fight fire with water, and put it out. This is where the anger everyone tells you to “ let go” should be released. Throw something, yell, cry, call the person you’re pissed at and tell them what you think RELEASE IT ALL, and move on. There is no shame in calling out a toxic person who is hurting you. In fact, that’s how you take away their power, you extinguish it with the truth. This is when the choice of anger comes from self love, and the instinct to protect oneself and those you love. This is good anger, this is necessary anger, this is Shiva Kali Power. The Destroyers. They destroy the bad to let the good in. For those of us who have this purpose in life, to bring out the worst in people, it is to destroy the bad, and make way for the good. Read the story of Kali FromTemple Purohit, here. You will see the good and bad and why we need people around us in bad times to help balance us out, stand up with us and have our back. Raw anger is one of our purest forms, it’s just as pure as our divinity. The difference is a very fine line, and depends on how much control we are able to hold on to in the face of anger, especially coming from a place of abuse, or destruction. It needs to end. Abuse and destruction are more like a downward spiral made of chains. When you feel you can’t get out of the cycle, the chains grow stronger and take you down further. You have to completely sever a link, in order to get out of the cycle. Anger comes from being pushed to far. The Buddha states, “holding on to anger is like holding a hot coal and expecting the other person to get burned.” Do not let the anger go blindly, if you do, you will send angry vibrations out into the world to create chaos. Focus the anger, and release, properly, it with as much force as it came at you. This may sound harsh, but if you re looking to break a link on the chain of destruction, it’s a necessity.
Happiness is not a choice, but a reward. We all would like to choose happiness, but we can’t. It’s actually out of our control much of the time. If we simplify our lives, stay away from social media, news, politics, religion and other people we are usually at peace. We find some peace doing the things we love, whether it be reading, yoga, painting, listening to or playing music, riding a motorcycle, or cooking a meal, we all have our active meditations, designed to bring us to a happier state, but true happiness is a reward. True happiness comes from extreme self love and self confidence. If you choose to love yourself enough, and are confident in your worth, you can end your bad situations and emerge renewed, released and rewarded with happiness. This is a conscious choice we do have control over.Cut toxic people out of your life. Cut toxic habits out of your life. Speak up, speak out, speak loud! Happiness only eludes us as long as we let it.
Stand Up For Something, Even if it Means Sacrificing Everything – Colin Kaepernick.
Noticing the Signs
The signs are all around us and we never fully take notice of them. Actually, I think we only notice the bad signs, because we are so programmed to gear our thoughts toward negativity.
Our job is to notice the signs, both good and bad.
Our goal do our best to turn the bad signs into positive situations.
Our self love helps us begin to notice the good signs, or count our blessings, as so many say, and begin to manifest the truth of what we need to exist, and it is different for everyone.
My job is not to point out the good signs to you, if I did that, or more to the point, when I have to do that, you learn nothing.
Notice the Signs in your life and use this advice to turn things around for the better, by investing in the most important person you know, yourself.
As a woman of small stature, men thought I was an easy target, and labeled me a “giant bitch” for not allowing them to place their nasty hands wherever they would like. It put me on guard 24/7 as I tried to live a normal teenage/20 something life.
In my Catholic High School in the 90’s, girls were given detention if a teacher or administrator thought our skirts were too short, we didn’t have a choice but to wear skirts. We would wear shorts under our skirts, because it was known that the boys would stand under the fire stairs and look up. To me that was degrading, but sadly, it was a reality and no one told the boys to stop. We as young women, did what we had to do to feel comfortable. This was the high school patriarchy. I hated it. To this day, I still look for shorts, or even wear yoga pants under my skirts and dresses because I feel insecure.
We need to stop dress coding and shaming girls about their clothing choices, as we were shamed. Teaching them they are distractions, telling them that they are not as important as the boys, and should be told what to do. This is teaching a new generation to buy into Rape Culture, as we were taught to buy into it.
We are taught that “boys like us” if they are mean to us. This is a lie, a boy who is being mean to you is simply being mean. Stand up to him and move on, he does not now, nor will he ever “like” you. He thinks you are an easy target. Prove him wrong.
We are taught to ridicule women who speak out against an attack. We are taught not to be one of ‘Those Women”. We are taught to be silent. Choosing to break free of that stigma, we are then called liars. We simply cannot win.
Here’s the deal, men will cat call, and grope no matter what you wear or where you are. Walk down any street alone, at any time and see. This doesn’t mean we women should censor ourselves to make these men comfortable, this means we need to take back our power and shut this behavior down. It’s high time that young boys are taught to be gentlemen, rather than teaching young women their bodies are distracting, and are the cause of young & old men being dirty little assholes. Rape Culture at it’s finest.
In College I was in a theater major, and wanted so badly to be cast in one of the school’s shows. For my first year of college I attended a women’s university. Maybe I felt safe there, because high school was all about what I was doing wrong to make the boys look; even though I was actively dating another student for two years. This was the height of the Grunge Era, and my clothing choices consisted of long sleeved tees covered by a plaid shirt, or old sweater, hardly “distracting clothing.”
I finally got cast in a show. I was playing a 13 or 14 year old girl, who’s father began abusing her the day of her birthday party. My character was still the innocent happy-go-lucky kid who felt she was becoming a woman. The second part of the show, was the adult version of my character who was so messed up from the abuse, she married a man with no arms or legs, who couldn’t hurt her. Pretty heavy for college. The entire show gave me chills, but I wanted to act, so I played this part. The costume designer even managed to make my very small chest look huge, which I though was odd for an 18 year old playing a 14 year old, and a two part play about abuse, but the director loved it. Here’s why:
We needed props, and one prop was a bed. My dorm had spare bed frames, so myself, the director and the set designer went to get the frame out of storage. While in the elevator, the director of the show grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me toward the back of the elevator, pushing my hips into the metal chair rail, causing a bruise saying, “great, now we can ravage Roseanne.” Yes this happened. Yes I felt all sorts of disgust, fear and shame. Yes I reported it. Yes the set designer saw it and corroborated my story, but no one believed him, because he was gay; really, that’s how that went down. I was pushed to do the show. I can remember a lot about that performance, but nothing stands in my memory like that green painted metal bed frame. Twenty three years later, it’s still clear as day. I left the school after that first year.
My ex husband physically & sexually assaulted me many times, before taking it to the level where I needed a restraining order. I endured years of abuse, in silence. During our divorce, more than anything he wanted that restraining order dropped. I refused. I took his only source of power away, he hated me more. At the hearing his lawyer said the only words that the judge took seriously from his side, “My client neither admits to, nor denies the charge of rape.” My restraining order stood in place for 18 months. That didn’t stop him from sending his friends out to follow me, but it gave me enough space that I could truly break free. Never back down about your personal safety, it could be the difference between life and death.
There were so many people who did not believe me about the attack. Questioning me with more uncertainty than the Police. Rumors were even spread around that my rape kit came back negative, as if cotton swabs and gauze can determine the difference between consensual or forced sex. I had to take a lot of medication including Plan B and Anti HIV medications, plus get a shot in the rear with the thickest needle and the strongest antibiotics that turn urine brown. I can get into details about the rape itself, but I’ll spare you from what still gives nightmares almost 9 years later.
For those who say, it’s in the past, it doesn’t count, but you claim to be of a certain religion, let me explain how the past determines everything from the Biblical Point of View:
We are all supposedly born with “original sin”. So we are Baptized into our Churches, knowing that everything we do in our lives, from that moment forward takes us to Heaven or Hell when we die. Every Action, from the moment you are accepted into your church. So Kavenaugh’s actions do count, religiously and politically. So do many of our other leaders’ actions. If you truly believe this, you would know how many broken Commandments, and how many of the Seven Deadly Sins are running through our government right now.
There are a lot of confused people out there who claim rape victims are making rape political, forgetting its actually a crime. When you listen to a woman, standing strong in truth and coming forward to do the right thing by our Country, with a clean record and see a liar, it’s a problem. When you look at men who are angry, and live lies daily and see solid, strong, truthful men, you are just identifying with what they call “power”. Lies are still lies, even with Eyes Wide Shut.
Times are changing, and you cannot hold on to the “old ways” so much you will fight good, honest people, and support monsters. There is something very fundamentally wrong with “American Values” because these aren’t values, they are discrimination’s and marginalization’s by white cisgender males, who’s choices coincide with who pays them the most.
I will help end Rape Culture and this nightmare. Ending your support of this current administration is not only the best way to tell the people in your life who may be coming forward as a victim that ethics, morals and love mean more to you than Party. It’s also a great way to help ensure all of our young ladies are able to grow up without fear of attack.
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